Friday, December 19, 2003

"Merry" Christmas, So to Speak

Ask me about my third holiday lunch of the week, this time with all of the medical school administration departments.

Did they turn the colors of Christmas into an Italian theme?
Yes.

In order to really flesh out the "Italian" theme, did they decorate the otherwise bare tables with boxes of pasta and bottles of olive oil?
Yes.

Did they have someone sing arias in Italian to piano accompaniment?
Yes.

While she was singing, did you see a man pressing his hands against his ears?
Yes.

Did they have recovering alcoholics speak about less fortunate Christmases past?
Yes. In a side note: recovering alcoholics are always talking about giving back. "I want to give back to those who have helped me." "I want to give back to my community." How about giving me back the time that I had to listen to you talk about your problems?

Did someone make a joke about liking brownies with nuts in them?
Yes.

Did you think to yourself "that's not the only thing you like with nuts in them"?
Yes.

I know I shouldn't complain about a free lunch, but God help me if I didn't end up paying for it anyhow. Also, to the lady in the homemade sweater with a Santa and his Sleigh made of yarn, what I meant to say was "No, you can't sit next to me."

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