Thursday, January 15, 2004


Today, I have found a headline worthy of an award.

"Britney 'Totally Believes in Sanctity of Marriage'."
(taken from

It's that "totally" that really gets me. She also used to "totally" believe in the sanctity of avoiding pre-marital sex. In fact, she seems to "totally" believe in the sanctity of everything that she has de-sanctified.

"'We landed on Mars that day -- why aren't they talking about that?' she asked, referring to the Mars Rover launched by NASA."

Um, they did and continue to talk about it, slut. Not that you have ever read a newspaper, or watched CNN, or consulted any other news-based media of any kind. Also, "we" didn't land on Mars that day, a robot that can travel 12 feet landed on Mars.

You know what, I can't even do this. She is just so retarded. Honestly. She should get driven from concert to TRL to concert in a short bus, sleeping on a fold-out nap-time cot and eating graham crackers and apple juice. Britney, stop crushing the graham crackers into your juice and spooning it into your mouth and asking me if I like seafood. That's what happens when you get home schooled by a high school dropout.


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