Thursday, January 15, 2004

I Would Do Anything For Help, But I Won't Do That

What was up with the late-80s early-90s psycho-therapeutic strategy of having people hit each other with foam covered swords? It's like the biggest fucking cocktease. You want to beat the shit out of someone, just really clobber them, knock their teeth into their throats so that they swallow their own teeth, are literally eating their own teeth, but instead you're just Nerfing them upside the head while they counterattack with their own Nerfing. I imagine that this therapy leaves the Nerfer feeling a lot like a smoker chewing as hard as he can on an entire pack of Nicorette gum. You're chewing and chewing and the whole time you're thinking "I would literally kill my own mother for a cigarette." Or you feel like a meth-head, masturbating until your penis bleeds, but never, EVER cumming. It only makes matters worse that you know the psychotherapist is either a bearded fruit or some fat woman with cats. Why is it that psychotherapists lives always seem so fucked up while they get paid to help others not be fucked up? It's like a fat person working the phones at the gym. It bugs me. I'd want to start hitting them with the Nerf sword. Take that you bearded impotent fuck. Take this and that and this and that and God damn it, I want something that cuts your skin, this Nerf shit is retarded.

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