Monday, January 05, 2004


To the one guy who reads this journal regularly--and also keeps sending cryptic postcards with pictures of auto accidents and descriptions of his little sister to my house--thanks.

Anyhow, you may have noticed a new trend: I am depressed for 2004! Yes! But it's not the kind of self-deprecating-humor-inducing-depression that makes for interesting down-time reading material. It's more like the all-I-want-is-to-lay-in-a-dark-room-until-it's-all-over kind of depression. Anyhow, I don't know what that means for the future of this journal because I don't think there's even an internet connection in the dark room of which I speak, and certainly no humorous office life.

Also, new for 2004: no more Corporate Casual Headline of the Day. Sure, once in a while, but not regularly. You'll have to get your news elsewhere. You should try typing "news" into the google searchfield and see what you get. I'm sure someone is writing about the happenings of the world.

But, all that being said, I was reading this article in the New York Times today about the successful landing of NASA's "Spirit" probe on Mars. It was all about how the mission is off to a stunning start, with a perfect ten-point landing and already sending us a billion pictures of red dirt, etc. As you know, I love space. And so I read this article the way Partyjesus reads the articles in Playboy magazine, which is to say from beginning to end, with my penis in my hand. Anyhow, then, at the very end of the article there was this:

"British scientists said Sunday they would keep trying to contact their probe, the Beagle 2, which was supposed to land on Mars on Christmas."

Ouch. That's just cold, and completely unnecessary for the rest of the article. Poor British scientists. They can join me in my dark room, where we will wait, and when the end comes, we will not cry. And I promise, British scientists, in the dark room no one is allowed to tease you for naming your probe "Beagle 2" which is a totally fag name for a space probe.


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