Tuesday, February 10, 2004

Would You Like My Fuck With That?

This one time, two minutes ago, I realized I had forgotten my lunch at home.

I will be eating lunch at Wendy's.

When I was in High School, there was this guy who used to go to Wendy's at lunchtime and after he had placed his order, when the pimple-faced fat lady turned around to get his drink or whatever, he would pull the bendy mic over the counter and start rapping into it so that you could hear the rapping in the kitchen.

Meanwhile, there was another guy who wasn't in my high school, but he was around, and his nickname was Crackhead Ted, because he was a crackhead and his name was Ted. Now Crackhead Ted is sober and converted to Islam and goes into local businesses trying to sell everybody incense. Anyhow, back when he was still a crackhead, I saw him one time standing in the middle of the street yelling "EAT MY FUCK" at all the cars and people passing around him.

Therefore:

Today at Wendy's I will narratively compress these two characters when I pull the bendy mic over the counter and yell "EAT MY FUCK" into it.

This totally sweet prank will be code-named Notorious B.I.G.G.I.E. and my character's name in this totally sweet prank will be nicknamed Crackhead Worker #3116.

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