Monday, October 18, 2004

This Weekend in a Talk Shell

Worker #3116: Do you think Fat Boy Slim is the best DJ who has ever lived?
Stevil: Ha ha. Obviously!
Worker #3116: This weekend I am trying to get my bearings on the world around me, by clearly defining what is the best.
Stevil: Okay.
Worker #3116: Do you think Usher is the best dancer in the world?
Stevil: Well, he's gay, so he's got that going for him.
Worker #3116: Emma, do you think you could beat Usher in a dance-off?
Emma: ...
Worker #3116: L'il John wins for best over-sized jersey with his name printed on the back.
Stevil: Hands down.
Worker #3116: If you are making a hit record and you think that it needs to suck a little bit, you get L'il John and he'll work his obnoxious magic and ruin your song for you. Do you think Nelly is the best rapper ever in the world?
Stevil: I don't know.
Worker #3116: You know who is the worst rapper in the world? Petey Pablo.
Stevil: You have said that before.
Worker #3116: I could beat him in a rap battle.
Stevil: You should go challenge him.
Worker #3116: Mr. Pablo, I challenge you to a rap battle. Let's go. Me and you. Mano e Pablo.
Stevil: Ha ha.
Worker #3116: Mano e Pablo is the funniest thing I have ever said. My world is now defined.

IAmJamieSabuda: Listen, in your life you're going to overcome a lot of obstacles. You'll pass through gates of change, and when you come through the other side, things will be different, that is a given, but interiorily you will find yourself strong and that is a truth.
Worker #3116: What the fuck are you talking about?
IAmJamieSabuda: I'm saying that people grow, it is life, and when you pass through life, you discover what truly matters, what you truly are.
Worker #3116: How many Sparks have you had?
IAmJamieSabuda: Four.
Worker #3116: I understand. Who is that girl you were talking to at the pool table? She is cute.
IAmJamieSabuda: All through life you meet different people. Sometimes you meet them in a bar, sometimes in another state, maybe you don't even know where you are going, but when you find them, you might not see them again for a long time, and then maybe you run into them later on in your life, with a new perspective. And sometimes these people you meet work in porn.
Worker #3116: I'm sorry, what?
IAmJamieSabuda: That's all I'm going to say. Sometimes the people you meet are your best friend's little sister. That's all I'm going to say.
Worker #3116: Seriously, you cannot have any more Sparks. Give that to me.
IAmJamieSabuda: No.


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