Friday, October 22, 2004

Worker #3116, Is He For Real?

I came home last night to find McCullen had carved a "Sambo" jack-o-lantern, replete with "o" mouth and "big" nose. We live in a progressive neighborhood, though, so the plan to paint it brown, with white mouth and red lips, cannot happen. That's not to say there are any black people living in our neighborhood, in fact McCullen is the darkest-skinned person around, but we have a lot of upper-middle class white people who think they understand black people.

Then we watched this really awful documentary on A&E called "Zombies, Are They For Real?" It was all about this one zombie who is potentially proof that zombies exist, but the documentary was completely directionless so that at one point it's talking about the Haitian Voodoo Justice System and the next thing you know they're examining the toxicology of that Japanese puffer fish. My favorite line of the entire documentary, though, was "In Haiti, even after a person dies, it may be possible that he can come back to live with his family as a zombie." There were some pretty obvious flaws with the zombie's story, though, the main one stemming from the claim that after he was zombified he was enslaved for 18 years with about 120 other zombies, but then one day all the zombies revolted, killing their slave master, and escaping into the Haitian hillside. There are two glaring problems with this: 1) why didn't any of the other 120 slave zombies return to their families and offer to tell their stories to A&E, and 2) zombies, we are told (this documentary makes a point of it, actually), live without emotion. But how can you have a zombie revolt without emotion? Moreover, I find it very hard to believe that the zombies would have the organization and "group think" necessary to pull this thing off. They're just too self-interested.

In conclusion, the night ended with me saying, "Tomorrow morning, when I wake up exhausted, I am going to wonder why I stayed up past my bedtime watching the Blind Melon "No Rain" video, talking with you clowns about whether or not the Bee Girl died but how it's probably just a vicious rumor like when the Cha-Ching Guy supposedly died," and that is exactly what happened. I just don't know.


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