Wednesday, November 17, 2004

Curing Diseases Through Laughing at People Who Have Them

"WE HEAR . . .

THAT Sen. Hillary Clinton played a critical role behind the scenes to orchestrate Sen. Chuck Schumer's appointment to powerful committees, which persuaded him to stay put and not run for governor: "It's easier for her to run for president with Eliot Spitzer as governor. This keeps Schumer where he is" . . . THAT Audrey Quock — the gorgeous model who inspired Jamison Ernest to wear a T-shirt declaring "My Ex-Girlfriend is a C- - -!" — has inspired her current boyfriend, SVM Models booker Richard Wheeler, to design a shirt saying, "Don't Feed the Models" . . . THAT a tribute to Michael J. Fox called "A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Cure Parkinsons" last Saturday at the Waldorf raised $5 million with the help of Robin Williams, Katie Couric and James Taylor."
(New York Post)

At first, there is nothing spectacular about this hodgepodge of celebrity gossip, but I like it for two reasons:

1. The second story is a continuation of a celebrity gossip item from last week about this feud between Audrey Quock (whoever the fuck that is) and her ex-boyfriend Jamison Ernest (whoever the fuck that is) over who gets one of the more than one apartments that they own together, and a big part of that piece was about this "My Ex-Girlfriend Is a Cunt" tee-shirt that Ernest "designed". What I like about this story, now, is that apparently Audrey Quock has started a tee-shirt war, in which her current and ex-boyfriends "draw inspiration" from their experiences with her, and try to become the toast of the town through awesome tee-shirt designs that are so crazy, like, like the kind of crazy you see at maybe Urban Outfitters or like those CRAZY Abercrombie and Fitch tee-shirts about Pennsylvania!

2. "A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Cure Parkinsons"? Is it possible to have milk come out of your nose and crap your pants at the same time? It is, Mr. Fox, it is indeed. Don't shake your head at me!


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