Thursday, November 11, 2004

DREAMERS

My dreamers last night had many parts to them, all of them super bizarre. There was the part of the dream where I confronted my father and grabbed him by his shirt and screamed in his face and he started crying, but that's not that funny. Then there was the part where I had my anxiety dream about airplanes except this time it involved trains. Basically, there was going to be a party this Saturday in, like, Pennsylvania or something, and I wanted to go to it, so I bought a train ticket. Then I remembered that if I took the train on Friday I would miss the Stella show. So I was like, FUCK, I just wasted all this money on this train ticket. Oh well, I'll just go see Stella and then I'll drive to Pennsylvania for this party. The next thing you know, I'm in Pennsylvania playing basketball in this backyard and I realize that it's still Friday, so I'm definitely going to miss the Stella show because there's not time to drive back, so I'm also pissed because I might as well just have used the train ticket if this was going to happen. But being all super pissed off is really messing up my game, so I stop playing basketball to try and figure things out. I've also just realized now that I'm playing basketball that none of my real friends are going to show up, mainly because it's in Pennsylvania, but also because they don't like Bam Margera and all of his cronies. Oh, and by the way, the person whose house I'm playing basketball at is Bam Margera, who happens to be the brother of a friend of mine in this dream, and also Ozzy Osbourne is there, except that he's my age, and he's a midget. At one point I was like, "Jesus, I mean, that is just super short, he is soooooo short." So we're up in Bam's room and everyone is teasing Ozzy because he keeps pulling out these old clothes he used to wear and everyone is telling him that they are ugly and that he should burn them. Then Bam is like, "Are you going to visit me this summer?" Which is a weird question, because it is summer (in the dream), and I'm already visiting him. But I say, "No, probably not," and think about explaining the whole train thing to him, but then he's like, "Well, if you do, bring a bag of lingerie because there's lots of toys and porno in my room that will have you turned-on all the time," and I"m thinking What is a bag of lingerie?, and Why is Bam Margera hitting on me? I leave this room to go looking for my friend (Bam's sister) in the house, and I end up in this wing of the house that is like an office, with cubicles, and she's in there working. She takes me into the backyard which is in the middle of hosting, like, a Renaissance Festival of some sort, and the Margera house is gigantic from all the times that Bam has blown it up and rebuilt it, and there's like, this giant tobaggon/snowboarding track and all these ramps. So my friend is like, "Let's get out of here," because we're at a Renaissance Festival and she wants to just talk. So we walk into this weird forest and then we're by this crystal lake, I shit you not, it's all very Neverending Story meets Mary Timony, and my friend is explaining all these games she used to play with Bam when he was little that involved THE IMAGINATION, and how she knows that the only reason Bam is super famous now is because she gave him all his ideas. At the very end of the dream, when I kept hitting the snooze button when I should have been getting up, I kept thinking "Great, now I have mono, thanks a lot," and I was like, "I better look up the symptoms of mono," and so I found a pen and kept writing webmd.com on any piece of paper or shopping bag I could find, and even in my dream I was like, "Stop writing that," but I couldn't.

GOOD MORNING, SUNSHINES!

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