Thursday, November 18, 2004

The Evolution of Timmonem. Get It, Spunk'd? Get It?

Last night I saw the very beginning of this MTV News special (w/ my favorite newscaster, Sway, who can spell his name AND tie his shoes!) called "The Evolution of Eminem". At the very beginning of the special they talked about how Eminem rose to the heights of hip hop stardom from his humble beginnings doing off-the-cuff rap battles in UNDERGROUND CLUBS in Detroit. They showed clips from the beginning of 8 Mile, which indeed looked like an UNDERGROUND CLUB where a dirty, poorly-lit, No Holds Barred rap battle might take place. Then they went to the real UNDERGROUND CLUB where these rap battles took place, the UNDERGROUND CLUB that the UNDERGROUND CLUB in 8 Mile was based on...and it was The (fucking) Shelter. I was all, like, "Wait, The Shelter? You mean, like, The Shelter Shelter, where I saw Cibo Matto? Oh come on!" Sean Lennon, too, rose from the humble beginnings of performing "Know Your Chicken" at UNDERGROUND CLUBS in Detroit to become the man who dates Milla Jovovich!

Hey, Spunk'd, remember when you used to pick up swarthy drummers at UNDERGROUND CLUBS in Detroit?

For the record, The Shelter is technically underground, beneath another club. I have a sneeking suspicion that while Eminem was facing hardship downstairs, I was watching Blur or Pulp or Pavement or Guided By Voices upstairs.

Hey, SmartStar, remember when Stale Girl With Braids dated Eminem, but then she totally slept with his rap rival in the studio at WJLB and then the next time she was at the Superchunk show she was all like, "I don't care about Marshall anyway. He's a punk. Besides, he gave me shit about wearing my giant backpack to his shows and carrying a lunchbox, and I'm all like, Marshall! It's got my stuff in it!" And then she was all like, "Check out my backpack!" Remember? Bet she feels sorry now! I bet she's just crying all the time in some UNDERGROUND CLUB in Detroit, stroking her long, beautiful braids!

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