Monday, November 15, 2004

I Am A Sexual Billionaire

Apparently, the people behind Wet, Hot, American Summer share a fan-base with Hoobastank. It's like, if I wanted to spend my time standing in a hot room with a bunch of shitheads who repeat words they've just heard to each other and then punch each other in the arm, I could have gone to the Cereberal Palsy Walkathon. Friday night was almost a total disaster, except for the end when Stevil and I stood outside and made fun of all of the retards (seriously). I'm hoping that maybe Worker #3116 will help me make my new button design, which says:

"Do you think your mom could give me a ride when she comes to pick you up?"

While we were laughing harder than we had all night because WE ARE FUNNIER THAN STELLA, this fat black man came up to us and started raving in his cuckoo language. "Can you believe they wanted to charge me six dollars to get in there?" he asked, indicating a nearby awesome dance club. "I could get a million dollars worth of pussy for that money." I've done the math, and if his calculations are correct, every one of his "man" dollars are worth 166666.666 of your "pussy" dollars. I've earned some capital during this weekend, and I intend to use it.

Anyhow, whatever. Remember when I started dj'ing on Saturday and the whole fucking party fell apart? Remember that? Mix Master #3116 TORE IT UP! And YES, a three second loop of Color Me Baddd playing endlessly with no way to stop it is the BEST PARTY EVER.


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