Wednesday, November 10, 2004

I Long For The Days When All I Wanted Was a Walkman With MEGABASS

I've been trying really hard for the past week to extricate myself from the news cycle. I do my best to avoid reading the paper (although I still scan headlines), and I've stopped listening to NPR, which you must understand is hard for me. I had previously decided that I should keep away from all things 'current event' for approximately two months. It's not really been going that well, I feel kind of anxious and bored all the time, because I don't know how to fill the vacuum where the news cycle used to be. One can only jerk off so many times a day, and there is rarely anything good on TV.

Even celebrity gossip has been pretty flat lately.

When I do sneak a peek at what's happening in the world, it is generally frustrating, like this short AP piece on salon.com this morning about four states that make women sign a form before they get an abortion stating that they have been informed of the link between abortion and increased likelihood of breast cancer, a link that does not exist. There are currently 14 states considering similar legislation. Arafat is (basically) dead. Ashcroft is gone, which I would like to think is a good thing, but lord knows they will dig up someone even worse. There are plenty of rocks to look under in this stupid fucking country. France is working with the U.N. to pull people out of a bloody uprising in the Ivory Coast. The U.S. now controls 70% of Fallujah. What is that? 70%? I control 70% of Fallujah. That's retarded. See? It's not working!

Worst of all, I haven't even gotten to see any of the new Paris Hilton pornos that are circulating the internets. Boo hoo for me. Boo hoo, indeed.

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