Monday, June 27, 2005

Let Him Go. Fight. Let Him Go. Fight.

One of my favorite things about boxing is when the fighters hug each other at the end. This always happens. The reason that I like it is because it teaches me that it is okay to want to literally KNOCK SOMEONE THE FUCK OUT. That doesn't make you a bad person incapable of love or friendship. In fact, you can love and befriend the very person you wanted to kill, quite literally, seconds earlier. So when I am threatening to fight you in the street, know that you might get a hug out of it at the end.

Another thing that I like about boxing is the bizarre hyperbole of the announcers. I don't watch very many other televised sports, so I don't know that this is as exclusive to boxing as it sometimes seems, but, okay, let me give you an example:

"You better go to the street Wade was born on and get some water there if you want to be a fighter, because that's...I mean, that's basically the only way to get whatever it is he's got."

Does that make any sense? I mean, I get the whole "there must have been something in the water" sentiment, but to encourage a strange pilgrimage to the same street for anyone who wants to be a fighter in such hackneyed language...did I mention that Wade was losing the fight at this point, and was, in fact, assured a technical loss unless he knocked Arturo "Thunder" Gatti cold, which he didn't? I didn't mention that, huh? If you want to be a resilient but ultimately failed fighter you should go to the street that Wade was born on and get some water there.

If you try to call me on Thursday and get my voicemail this is why.

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