Thursday, June 02, 2005

Trapped in WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?

Everyone in the world, I am FREAKING THE FUCK OUT right now.

Last night, McCullen and I sat down on the couch to listen to "Trapped in the Closet (Chapter 4 of 5)." What we heard was not particularly thrilling...the twists seemed to have continued their deterioration. On the other hand, it was very sexual, so that is awesome.

Anyhow, this morning, I planned on posting the lyrics here, to keep you guys up-to-date on Robert Kelly's protagonist's adventures, but what I found has shaken me to the core. For the sake of posterity, and truth, I am reposting the lyrics that the internet has posted for "Trapped in the Closet (Chapter 4 of 5)" but I must emphasize that THIS IS NOT THE SONG I HEARD LAST NIGHT. Which either means this is a hoax, or that I HAVE ALREADY HEARD "TRAPPED IN THE CLOSET (CHAPTER 5 0F 5)"!!!!!!!

I feel sick.

Trapped in the Closet (Chapter 4 of 5)
or is it?
by
Robert Kelly
or is it?

I quickly said, "Hello, this shit must be really crazy
Oh, God please help me, because my knees are shaking."
Again I said, "Hello," and asked the man, "Who are you?"
He said, "I am your worst nightmare, so fuck you!"
I said, "Where is my wife is she home?"
He said, "She's laying next to me dressed in all red."
I said, "Give her the phone before i kick your ass!"
He said, "She cant talk because she is dead."
My heart begins to stop, my eyes begin to run, before I looked back, this gay bitch snatch my gun.
Rufus said, "Put your hands up and dont try to run"
He said, "This is a robbery," and thats when I looked up
The room started to get black
The man laughs on the phone
Cathy/ Mary said, "STOP! STOP! I cant take no more.
This has gone to far, baby, somebody's gone get hurt,"
Chukh said, "This is a set up and you got served."
I kneeled down and said, "Lord why me?"
Then I heard the man on the phone say, "Your hormones are too weak."
Then Rufus began to say, "Do you wanna know the shocking truth, I promise if you were any dumber you would have been really through."
I began to cry and scream, "What's going on?
I have a family at home who deserves to be not bothered and left alone."
Cathy/Mary walked over and said, "I'm sorry it had to be you.
I do this for a living this is how we make ends
I seduce a man and then we take all his possesions."
I said, "You one slimmy bitch and your ass gone rot in hell"
She said, "Fuck you, at least your wife will beat me there!"
Then there was a knock on the door, and the man on the phone said, "Drop this celluar and open up the door..."


ATTENTION LADIES, I have read and re-read these lyrics and what I heard with McCullen on the sofa last night couldn't follow from this. There's too many gaping plot holes. So I don't know what this is. Man, this is gettin' scary. If somebody don't speak they mind soon, I'm gonna shoot somebody.

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