Tuesday, June 07, 2005

Y'all Ready for This

The hoax has been revealed. How do I know all this? BECAUSE I'VE HEARD CHAPTER 5 0F 5, BITCHES. Anyhow, the Chapter 5 of 5 story behind the story is that I turned on the radio this weekend and it was playing and I think I screamed, but the next thing I knew I almost got in a car crash trying to turn the radio off BECAUSE I JUST WASN'T READY. So neither are you. But I will give you the lyrics to Chapter 4 of 5, which, if you go back and compare it to the fakie lyrics you will see why that day I kept telling everyone that I was "freaking the fuck out." On the bright side, although the real Chapter 4 lacks some of the sinsiter macabre plot twists of the fake C4, IT IS SO SEXY YOU WILL CUM. (Cum means have a climax.)

Oh, also, life has once again lost its purpose. Dear Nelly, please record a five-part radio drama to give my life new meaning. Love, Worker #3z1z1z6zl

Trapped in the Closet (Chapter 4 of 5) [dis is 4 reall-------(dirty)]
Robert Kelly

Now I'm dashin home
Doin 85
Swervin lane to lane
Wit fire in my eyes
I got a million thoughts
Runnin through my mind
I'm thinkin about what imma do and who I'm gonna do it to when I get home
How could I have been so blind
And then I look in my rear view
I cannot believe this
(Whoo whoo whoo)
Damn, here comes a police man
He drove right up on me and flashed his light
Then I pulled over without thinkin twice
He hopped out the car and walked over to me
And said, "License and registration please"
I looked up at him and said,
"Officer, is there somethin wrong?"
He said, "No, except you were were doin 85 in a 60 mile zone"
Then I said, "Officer,
Let me explain please
Ya see the truth of the matter is
Is that I have an emergency"
He said, "No excuses
And no exceptions"
I said, "This is some bullshit"...as he gave me the ticket
Said, "Have a nice day," and walked away
I said, "Yeah right" and drove away
Then I turned my radio on
And did 70 all the way home
I pulled up in the driveway
Hopped out and slammed the car door
Then go in through the back
Bust up in the house and she screamin
"What's all that for?"
Then I'm like, "Woman, I called this house
And a man picked up my phone"
Then she said, "Calm down,
Did you forget
My brother Twan came home?"
And thats all I could say was "Oh"
Wit a stupid look on my face
Said, "I forgot he came home today"
And she said, "That's okay
Because honey I understand"
She said, "You dont have to explain"
Then I took her by the hand
I kissed her and then we went to the room
Then I turned some music on
Apologized one more time
Then went down and start gettin it on
And she started bitin her lip
Grabbing me and makin noise
Now we makin love and she's my ear whisperin
"It's all yours"
I said, "I love you"
And she said, "I love ya, too"
Then a tear fell up out my eye
Then I called her my sunshine
And then she looked at me
And said, "Baby go deeper please"
And thats when I start goin crazy
Like I was tryin to give her a baby
The room feel like its spinnin
We keep turnin and turnin
As if we were in a whirlwind
The way our toes are curlin
The next thing ya know, she starts goin real wild
And starts screamin my name
Then I said, "Baby, we must slow down
Before I bust a vessel in my brain"
And she said, "Please, no, dont stop"
And I said, "I caught a cramp"
And she said, "Please keep on goin"
I said, "My leg is about to crack"
Then she cries out
"Oh my goodness, I'm about to climax"
And I said, "Cool, climax, Just let go of my leg"
She says, "You're the perfect lover"
I said, "I cant go no futher"
Then I flip back the cover
Oh my God, a rubber...


Anonymous ard said...

Ha Ha, Worker #3z1z1z6zl.

5:18 PM  

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