Tuesday, July 12, 2005

I've Had This Conversation Every Year Since College

Worker #3116: I hate working.
Clown Coffee: I know. It's dumb!
Worker #3116: I need a lot of money, so that I don't have to work anymore.
Clown Coffee: You could marry an old woman with a lot of money.
Worker #3116: Okay. Wait, do I have to spend a lot of time with her?
Clown Coffee: Some. She's very lonely.
Worker #3116: Okay.
Clown Coffee: It's okay, you could still work here.
Worker #3116: Where would she live?
Clown Coffee: Connecticut.
Worker #3116: So I wouldn't have to see her every day?
Clown Coffee: No.
Worker #3116: Like, say, once every six months?
Clown Coffee: Sure.
Worker #3116: How long does she live for?
Clown Coffee: Two years. Her name is Myrtle. Myrtle #3116.
Worker #3116: Ha ha.
Clown Coffee: She would regale you with stories of the Depression.
Worker #3116: ...
Clown Coffee: Or you could come up with an idea that no one else has had yet and sell it.
Worker #3116: That's what I've been trying to do, but I've been too busy to think about it.
Clown Coffee: Maybe it's my dream about being able to pick up WiFi in your head.
Worker #3116: ...
Clown Coffee: Why can't you figure that out?
Worker #3116: ...
Clown Coffee: You could steal a lot of money. That's the easiest.
Worker #3116: No, that's hard.
Clown Coffee: Getting away with it is hard, but the stealing part is easy.
Worker #3116: Do you have to do a lot of planning to get away with it, or do you just fly by the seat of your pants?
Clown Coffee: Well, you have to have a getaway car.

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