Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Let Go and Let God Pull One Over on You

I like the current trend of reggae infused hip hop...who started it? Shaggy? I hate Shaggy Boombastic, but maybe I owe him an apology. Sorry, Shaggy, for all them times I hate you. But it wasn't him, anyway. I'll give it to Sean Paul, who I don't hate...but maybe it was Dizzee Rascal and The Streets? England's "Grime" and "Garage" scenes? Leave it to the Ricans, of course, to show up late to the party and change the CD and pretend like they own the place. Boo, reggaeton! I enjoy your beats but your ethos of domination by feigned-ignorance does not impress me!

Anyhow, I went to Jamaica once and there were guards at the hotel with machine guns. There were also signs that warned you about getting hit in the head with a coconut and dying. Deadbeat Père took me there with ex-Step Mom #3116. She would never let me drink Coke but one afternoon I was hanging out with some kid by the pool and he ordered a Coke and we split it. Then I was really self-conscious about not acting caffeinated in front of ex-Step Mom #3116...it was kind of like showing up to work drunk. I really thought I had pulled one over on her. Then my dad divorced her and she became a born-again Christian...so I guess Jesus pulled one over on her in the end.

Bombe Éclate!

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