Tuesday, July 05, 2005

Love, Moustache

Worker #3116: We should go to the costume shop this week and get some fake mustaches for our party on Saturday.
McCullen: I've asked you to go to the costume shop with me and get fake mustaches for weeks and you have constantly refused me.
Worker #3116: That is because this is for a party involving a dramatic reading of Walker: Texas Ranger, not just you putting on a fake mustache before we go to the bar. [pause] Do you think there are people who can only achieve orgasm when wearing a fake moustache?
Generative Theme: Yes.
McCullen: Obviously. But I'm getting to the point now where as long as I know my fake moustache is in the room with me, I'm okay.
Generative Theme: You just have to see it?
McCullen: I just stick it on the wall, or have it poking out of my dresser.

[McCullen simulates having sex and pointing to the moustache, whispering, "This is for you."]

McCullen: We need to go to the costume shop to get more orgasm triggers.
Generative Theme: "Hi, I'm looking for your orgasm triggers."
Worker #3116: "You know, something that will make me cum faster when I see it."
McCullen: "Or instantly."
Generative Theme: "Okay. They're right over there, next to the wigs."

[Later: Burrito Store conversation.]

Worker #3116: I think they got worse, but now they're back to being pretty good.
McCullen: They need to drain their beans better.
Generative Theme: ...
Worker #3116: ...
McCullen: I'm going to make a sign that says "You need to drain your beans."
Generative Theme: ...
Worker #3116: You need to drain your beans?
McCullen: Yes.
Generative Theme: Ha ha ha.
Worker #3116: "To drain your beans better, call McCullen."
Generative Theme: Ha ha.
Worker #3116: Ha ha.
McCullen: I wouldn't sign it, I'd just stick a fake moustache to the bottom of the note.

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