Tuesday, August 23, 2005


My gym is closed for two weeks for "maintenance and upgrading." They did this to me last year and all I noticed when they reopened was one new elliptical trainer. What do you think they're going to offer this time? Probably one 12-pound dumbbell.

Anyway, the only affordable alternative I have found is the dingiest ex-con weight room in town. One of two things will certainly happen in the next two weeks:

1. I will organize and lead a totally unfuckable-with crew of thick-necked muscle-heads, and we will cause a lot of trouble and upset the authorities.

2. I will be found beaten to death with my own ipod.


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