Friday, August 12, 2005

Don't Shame Your Family, Don't Get Killed by a Previously-Scary-but-no-Longer-Scary Clown

Announcement: Clowns have gone from children's amusement to creepy horror trope to super overused cliche horror crutch. If you want to make a horror movie, but you've got no ideas, get a clown, and then get a real job. So scary. NOT!

Boo, clowns!

Clown outfits would get so in the way of a successful killer. Those big floppy shoes and Mickey Mouse gloves? Not to mention the heat of full-facial grease paint. Anyhow, scary clowns are out.

If some killer dressed up as a clown and broke into your house, I think that you would be scared, I'm not an idiot. But I don't think the clown part would be scary. In fact, I think there would be a moment before your entrails were tied to the back of a wooden dining room chair where you'd be like, "Um, nice clown outfit. Is it a rental, or do you actually own that fucking thing? You look like a retard." Getting killed by a clown would be very embarrassing, too. You would bring shame on your entire family if you got killed like that.


NOT SCARY!


FOUND ON A WEBSITE FOR UNICEF. ALSO: NOT SCARY!


DIAGNOSIS: NOT SCARY


JOHN LEGUIZAMO: SCARY

3 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

right, but you know whats NOT out?

ICP.
http://www.all-pictures-photos.com/images/icp/icp-img.jpg

4:02 PM  
Anonymous mccullen said...

i have to disagree. i wish it wasn't the case but 'the great milenko' was a huge letdown after the success of 'tunnel of love,' and then there was the whole howard stern residency.

11:00 PM  
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8:58 AM  

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