Monday, August 29, 2005

Six-Degrees of Molestation

I was watching The Woodsman last night, the sexy romantic comedy about a child molester produced by Rockafella Records honcho Damon Dash, and it had one of the most beautiful moments of movie magic: Within a few weeks of being released from prison for child molestation, our sex-offender hero gets a hot girlfriend. In the future, if mankind ever survives the Zombie Apocalypse, they will eventually uncover the cinematic record of our culture and decide that the worse you were as a person, either morally, physically, or attitudinally, the better your chances for reproductive survival. The few people left on Earth trying to recreate a viable society will use movies like The Woodsman as the basis of their new religion, quickly putting out the final candle of hope for mankind.

I doubt anyone will survive the Zombie Apocalypse, though.


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