Monday, September 19, 2005

Bill Maher-di-har-har

There is a profile in this week's New York's Times Sunday's Magazine of Bill Maher and his 2.5 acre, 6,000 square foot house. I think I'm the only person that I know who really likes Bill Maher, which is totally acceptable. His face is gross, and if you've seen him as a young man with long hair and stonewashed jeans then you are more than likely never going to be able to look at Maher again. It's just that whenever I've heard him interviewed I think he's funny and he says a lot of things that I agree with. This allows me to accept the overwrought, self-indulgent blowhardism that makes up the majority of his personality. Bill Maher's self-image appears to have been forged under a "Laugh and the Whole World Laughs with You, No Matter How Much of a Prick You Look Like Laughing, So Prick It Up!" ethos.

Anyway, here are the two highlights of his profile:

"Workout routine: I run up a hill in the back of my house. I jump on a trampoline, which is good for the lymph nodes. I hit baseballs, play basketball and use the gym. The whole thing takes less than an hour."

COME ON GUYS! Even if you hate Bill Maher, or especially if you hate Bill Maher, the image of him jumping on a trampoline all alone in his backyard, and not for fun but seriously trying to do some "good" for his lymph nodes, that shit is fucking hilarious. That is real time with Bill Maher.

"Religious practice: I despise religion and make no secret of that. What I have is a sense that the journey of life should proceed toward selflessness. I hope that by the time I pass on I have renounced all the trappings of materialism and ego."

This karmically sound expression of sought-after enlightenment ends the New York Times Sunday Magazine profile on his 2.5 ACRE, 6,000 SQUARE FOOT HOUSE THAT INCLUDES TWO BARS, ONE OF WHICH IS A ROOF-TOP TIKI LOUNGE, A SUNKEN BATH TUB, A PERSONAL GYM, BATTING CAGES, A BASKETBALL COURT, GUEST HOUSES THAT HE DOES NOT GO IN EVER, AND A REFRIGERATOR FULL OF ALMONDSEED BUTTER AND ORGANIC EGGS FROM WHOLE FOODS. Look out, Buddha.

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