Friday, September 30, 2005

WAKE UP, JOURNALISTS!

There have been a lot of pretty big news stories this week. Tom DeLay was indicted on conspiracy charges. Jack Abramoff was linked to a mobland murder. Senator Majority Leader Bill Frist is being investigated for inappropriate stock sales. John Roberts Jr. was sworn in as America's Next Top Justice. Judith Miller decided she was sick of jail and left. But there is one major news story that none of the mainstream media outlets have chosen to pick up on:

Worker #3116 figured out what he's going to be for Halloween!

Worker #3116 released a press release Wednesday morning confirming that Worker #3116 had decided on a costume for Halloween. He is pleased to report that despite the as-yet-unpurchased items still required before the costume can be implemented, that he does already own the kelly-green sweatpants. Worker #3116 is also pleased to report that his costume will be appeal to children, while remaining intellectually compelling for adults, like a Pixar movie. The costume will also be thoroughly wearable. Worker #3116 does not, the press release indicated, foresee any trouble drinking and/or "totally partying" in his costume. In a final note, Worker #3116 would like women to know that he firmly believes in the expression: what happens in a Halloween costume, stays in a Halloween costume.

2 Comments:

Blogger Subject to Change said...

You know, I think I might love you. I've never known a guy to show an interest in Halloween that could rival my own! You beat me to my own "My Top Secret Halloween Costume Has Been Decided" post! I guess the only thing left to post about in that area is whether or not I quit my p-t job just to have the entire weekend off.

2:54 PM  
Anonymous mccullen said...

i think i actually read something about your costume on the AFP.

3:25 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home