Monday, October 24, 2005

Emoticon Roller-Coaster

I don't think I've ever sent a text-message in my life. Who has the time? Or the coordination? But maybe the problem is more subtle than that, maybe I've never sent a text-message because I've simply never had anything important to say.

During a particularly rough patch with Deadbeat Père he started sending me all these hard-core text-messages. I'm pretty sure he learned how to use the technology just so that he wouldn't have to call me...but...what? Have you ever been supermad and then been all, "Oh my god, I got your text-message. I love you, too. I'm so sorry I ever got upset!" At what point have you ever thought "I've got some things to say, but it's just so hard to do it out-loud. I'm going to sit here with my phone for awhile, and translate it into pidgen." It's not that kind of technology...or is it?

This weekend I got a text-message from Classic Crazy. It is not nearly as earnest and provocative as those from Deadbeat Pére, but still...why do people think they can text their way back into my heart? Am I really that big of a fat fucking nerd? "Wrkr #3116, Ive got sum prtty rare Star Wars figurines. U should prbly come over. L8r. ;)" I'm seriously confused by this strategy. It's like proposing marriage in a Valentine's Day e-card that can only be opened on Web TV.*

* In the spirit of full-disclosure, there isn't really any form of communication on Earth that would make me take what Deadbeat Pére or Classic Crazy had to say very seriously, except, I suppose, cash. Money talks, bitches.

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