Friday, October 21, 2005

The Three Things I Hate About You

Here are three things that are not working:

1. Pomegranate Juice: Dudes, it's like, 100 dollars an ounce, and guess what: SURPRISE! It tastes like shit. It's like, if you drank some cranberry juice and your body absorbed all the nutrients out of it, reducing it to just the baseline tart syrupy residue, and then you pissed that out into a cute little hourglass bottle, that would be pomegranate juice. Hey, pomegranate juice, you suck. And your mom sucks.

2. Your face.

3. Seriously, I had three things when I came in here, but I could only remember pomegranate juice when I started writing about them. I must really hate pomegranate juice. But if you think I'm just going to sit here all day like a FUCKING JACKASS trying to remember what the other ones were, you've got another thing coming. CORRECTION: if you think I'm just going to sit here all day like a FUCKING JACKASS trying to remember what the other ones were, you've got nothing else coming, because I'm not going to try.

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