Friday, October 14, 2005

Wire Your Jaw Shut or I'll Wire It for You

It smells like popcorn in this office. Why do offices always smell like popcorn? Wrong question. Why do fat crappy people eat so much popcorn? Do you remember the gourmet popcorn craze of the late '80s? That was when the fat craps broke through to the mainstream. People waited in line...for popcorn...with cheese on it. And it's not like the people who are eating all this popcorn aren't still superfat. I mean, isn't that the point? "Mmm...time for a lite, lo-cal snack to get me through the afternoon. TGIF!" Instead of a delicious bag of burnt popcorn why don't you treat yourself to a delicious bag of burnt bariatric surgery?

I'm seriously ready to blast some faces with secret death moves.


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