Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Futureme: "Didn't I Fire You"

You know in the movies when some evil businessman is trying to take over the old family store by slick-palming the founder's son and trying to convince him that he'd be better off using his family's wealth to enjoy some sun and sand, rather than mucking around with the old work mules? Meanwhile, when the heir-apparent is out of the room, the evil business man is wreaking cruelly worded havoc on all of the company's tried and true, the ones who were personally picked out by the founder himself? And then at the very end of the movie the evil businessman comes to the board meeting expecting to be handed the cash factory on a silver platter, but instead he sees some lowly secretary sitting in his chair, and he's like, "Didn't I fire you?" And then the founder's son, who is on speaker-phone, explains that he has used his family's wealth not to travel, but to repurchase the controlling shares in the company, and he has appointed the lowly previously fired secretary to the position of CEO?

I would like someday to be in the position of that evil businessman. Not the whole getting-replaced-in-a-surprise-coup-by-some-snot-nosed-trust-fund-baby-and-a-whore-of-a-secretary-that-everyone-knows-has-slept-with-half-of-the-finance-department-and-who-spends-all-her-time-making-personal-calls-and-reading-daily-candy thing, but because I want not only the power to fire people, but to abuse that power in such a way that I can never be sure whether or not I used it on you, and I am forced to ask.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

mmm, Rutger...

3:05 PM  

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