Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Harry Potter and the Sorcerers Bone

A few nights ago, McCullen had a dream that took place at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. When he told Weather Report about it over the phone, she immediately gasped and in a breathy voice said, "I would never wake up!"

McCullen: But it wasn't as good of a Hogwarts dream as it could have been. Even Weather Report said that it wasn't that good. So, I guess there are better Hogwarts dreams out there?
Worker #3116: Yo, this one girl I know had the bomb-ass Hogwarts dream!
McCullen: In chat rooms and stuff...
Worker #3116: What would it be? Some crazy magic-sex dream?
McCullen: Yeah. Fucking Hermione on a broomstick while circling the Quidditch Pitch.
Worker #3116: Accio condoms!
McCullen: Or Ron. Yeah...eating Bernie Bott's Every-Flavored Beans out of his navel...in front of the fireplace in the Gryffindor Commons. Hot.
Worker #3116: ...

[McCullen points an imaginary wand at an imaginary Ron Weasley penis.]

McCullen: Engorgo!
Worker #3116: You are so gay. Any pretense of questioning your orientation is officially over.
McCullen: I think that's a real spell. ENGORGO!

5 Comments:

Blogger s. badazz said...

excuse me! next time, spoiler warning please!



!

1:08 PM  
Anonymous neilgene said...

i still think the most impressive spell is to cast 'most painful poo.'

1:27 PM  
Anonymous mccullen said...

i totes forgot about Most Painful Poo.

3:56 PM  
Anonymous mccullen said...

i love dreams. you can be anything your subconscious secretly desires, above all else you really believe you desire (but will never achieve) in the waking world!

12:35 AM  
Anonymous mccullen said...

even posession of an erection-inducing wand.

with a phoenix-feather core.

2:49 AM  

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