Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Let Them Eat Dog Cake

There is a holiday crafts fair at my work today, I guess so that you can give your loved-ones a pink knit-scarf that some fat lady at your work made to show how much you really care? Anyway, one particulary inventive woman had brought her collection of gourmet dog treats, just in case any of the big butted retards around here turned out to have any secret Park-Slope-Yuppie leanings. Clown Coffee and I overheard her urging people to try them. "No, they're not bad. You can totally eat them. Go ahead, try it."

Yes, a woman at my work today sat at a table in a conference room and tried to convince fellow co-workers to eat dog food.

As we were leaving she said "Oh no, I wouldn't give my dog anything that I wouldn't eat myself." REALLY? I thought you were supposed to give them things you wouldn't eat, like...you know...DOG FOOD.

In related news: does anyone know anyone who is hiring?

4 Comments:

Anonymous brother #3116 said...

yeah, but you don't want it.

2:35 PM  
Anonymous Tom D. said...

Sorry for your work-place troubles, but you know, a dog's mouth is ten times cleane...ahh forget it.

My dog never thought twice about eating her own vomit.

I suggest you look into Plastics.

I hear great things.

1:37 AM  
Anonymous swimmingliar said...

Rap/Hip-Hop and Soul/R&B Editor
Publication or Company San Francisco-based music services company
Industry Music, Online/New Media
Salary Hourly
Benefits
Job Duration Freelance (Other)
Job Location San Francisco, CA USA
Job Requirements San Francisco-based music services company is seeking an expert in rap/hip-hop and soul/R&B for a part-time freelance assignment. The ideal candidate will have a deep knowledge of these styles of music and be familiar with the recorded output of the genres' biggest stars -- past and present -- as well as up-and-coming acts.

The editor will help build out and maintain the rap/hip-hop section of our music subscription service by assigning similar artists and musical genres to acts, creating playlists of recommended tracks by each act, programming the rap/hip-hop Internet radio stations, and identifying holes in our catalog of rap music. The editor will also write brief artist biographies and album reviews, and will help out with similar duties in the soul/R&B section as necessary. Existing relationships with relevant labels would be preferable.

Job Requirements:
• Superior knowledge of rap/hip-hop/soul/R&B
• Well-organized, self-starting individual with excellent communication skills (written and oral)
• Two to four years experience in a field requiring extensive knowledge of this genre (music journalism, radio, or retail)
• Working knowledge of various computer applications (Excel, Word, etc.)
• Familiarity with content management systems
• Impeccable attention to detail and follow-through
• Must own a PC and have a high-speed Internet connection
Contact Ms. Senior Managing Editor, Music Services
Email Address rapeditor@hotmail.com
Address 2012 16th Street
San Francisco, CA 94103 USA
Fax 415-934-6720
Special Instructions Send resume, cover letter and up to three clips or URLs to samples of your writing to rapeditor@hotmail.com

7:19 PM  
Blogger Worker #3116 said...

These are my favorite kind of job postings.

EDITOR NEEDED FOR MAJOR POP CULTURE MAGAZINE, PLEASE SEND EMAIL TO MAJORPOPCULTURE@YAHOO.COM

As if The Source and Rolling Stone just gives out free Yahoo email accounts.

9:55 AM  

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