Monday, November 21, 2005

Newlyweds: Tom & Katie: Season One

[Tom and Katie have just returned from an invigorating "Afterlife of the Body, Afterlife of the Mind" seminar and are sharing a healthful brunch.]

Tom: I'm getting a sense of some thetans in this quiche.
Katie: You're the most amazing man I've ever met.
Tom: When the great lord Xenu tastes this quiche it's going to be volcano time, and I don't mean the good kind of volcano time.
Katie: You've changed my life.
Tom: Maybe we should go down to the Scientology Center and have them audit this quiche for dangerous biofeedback.
Katie: I want to have your baby.
Tom: Please, Kate, please. I'm trying to recalibrate my truth levels to get them in line with my reality quotient.
Katie: When I'm with you, I feel like we're the only two people on Earth.
Tom: What time is Lost on? I don't want to miss Lost. I see in it many reflective exhibitions of past thetan behavior.
Katie: It is on at 9.
Tom: There is seriously something strange about this quiche, as if it is trying to tell us something.
Katie: The puff-pastry crust is not fully cooked.
Tom: ...
Katie: ...
Tom: ...
Katie: You're the most amazing man I have ever met.

[Later, after Lost, Tom and Katie perform the ancient ritual of anal-mind-meld in which the woman dresses up like a man, the man dresses up like a man, and they create "the one" using only their bodies and the man's latent homosexuality.]


Anonymous Sifu Tweety said...

Ancient, planet destroying, nuclear quiche, highly secret, and protected by vigorously enforced copyright.

4:36 PM  

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