Wednesday, November 23, 2005

TV, Bloody TV

When a tampon commercial came on last night McCullen remarked that he'd been seeing an inordinate number of tampon and birth-control advertising on television. He was surprised that so many new feminine products were being developed, and that they were making up such a large proportion of the total advertising on TV, what with all the other things to promote, like booze, cars, and Harry Potter.

I reminded him, as gently as I could, that when all one watches is America's Next Top Model and the Style Network, one's view of the world tends to be rose-tinted.

Get it? Menstruation?

Also TV: this morning I saw the new Kanye West video for "Heard 'Em Say." WAKE UP, MR. WEST! This was seriously the worst music video I've ever seen*. It was worse than the Black Eyed Peas video for! Basically, it has two parts to it:

1. Smudgy black and white charcoal animation of Kanye West driving some kind of magic Who Framed Roger Rabbit? taxi-cab with his mom and a younger version of himself in the backseat in a wacky adventure.

2. Grainy black and white live-action footage of him and Maroon 5's Adam Levine standing uncomfortably close together and singing while gazing deeply into each other's eyes. I kept thinking "Kiss! Kiss!" but that kept getting drowned out by thoughts of "Adam Levine, you suck! Suck so bad!"

BUT: the animation was done by Bill Plympton. I remember being really into the animation of Bill Plympton IN SIXTH GRADE. Kanye should have dressed in some sweet stone-washed denims with leather patches and the cuffs pegged, and a big Cross Colors leather jacket and called it a day. Seriously: no offense to Bill Plympton, but his time passed around 1993. Seeing this video also brought up the whole "Why are they making an Aeon Flux movie? Apparently 2005 is the Liquid Television re-revolution (do you remember that early episodes of LT were hosted by Alex Winter?! Righteous!.) When is the feature-length "Dog Boy" movie coming out?

Anyway: way to fuck it up, Kanye. Even white people don't like this video.

*When I say that this is the worst video I've ever seen I'm framing it in the context of "videos that could be good". It's not like I'm putting this up against some Coach Carter soundtrack video where they rap in an alley while scenes from the film are projected against an SUV or something. Think more along the lines of "what the f was Pavement thinking with that 'Rattled by the Rush' video that was just a static shot of a bathtub with concert footage of them playing in one of the bathroom tiles?" bad.


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