Friday, November 18, 2005

Why You Say That

So, I'm at the gym yesterday, and I go into the locker room, and following right behind me is this big bruiser in a bandana and a sleeveless shirt, the better to show off his tribal tattoos. Just as we are entering the locker room another guy is leaving, and the bruiser says hello to him. Then this happens:

Bruiser: I've always got to give him a hard time because he's a Steelers fan. But have you heard "The Channukah Song"?
Worker #3116: ...Yeah...
Bruiser: Yeah, that's a great song.

WHAT? I've thought about this for hours and I cannot see where he made the transition, or how saying "hello" to someone is giving them a hard time for their sports allegiances. I guess this is a little better than the middle-aged man who sits in the locker room and talks at length to anyone within his eye-line, even when, or especially if, they are ignoring him. He's got a son living in California, his wife likes to wear sweaters when it's cold out, and don't think that you just like orange juice for the taste, you also like it for the water it has in it when you're dehydrated.

Then I come in to work this morning and there is a bagel bash for Santana and Aerobicize's birthdays. Now, being a member of the tribe of Abraham or whoever, I LOVE bagels. But not when I have to sit there and listen to:

Aerobicize: It was 18 degrees this morning. [very long pause] But when I pulled into the parking lot at work it was 23 degrees.

Followed by a description of her favorite HGTV shows. I listened while watching Married spread cream-cheese on the OUTSIDE of her bagel. Who does this? I guess boring, mediocre, married WASPS. She'd probably just never seen a bagel before, but when that happens you're supposed to watch how the strange cultural foreigners do and do that.

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