Friday, December 09, 2005

And After You Get the Door, Make Me a Fucking Sandwich

Have you ever seen a super hot girl at the gym who was doing the full splits? And as she leaned forward to get her stretch deeper, you could see that her entire back was covered in a tattoo? And when you asked her what her tattoo was she said "Which one?" And in your head you were like "OMG! You are hot to death!" Then she confirmed what you had suspected: that her entire back was covered in a tatt of a stormy solar system with cartoon rockets firing up along the edges.

THIS HAS HAPPENED TO ME.

Whatever, though. One of my advisors in Advanced College told me about a girl he dated once whose entire back was covered in a massive Chicago White Sox tattoo, which sets the hot bar for back tatts pretty high.

This morning I got an email that said this: When Satan is knocking at your door, simply say, "Jesus, could you please get that for me?" I like to picture Satan waiting impatiently at the door after knocking for five minutes, like, "Helloooooo?" And Jesus is all, "Why do I have to get it? You NEVER get the door!" And I'm like, "Shut up, you're ruining Lost."

2 Comments:

Anonymous brother #3116 said...

I believe you mean "hot to def."

1:19 PM  
Blogger Worker #3116 said...

I figured by using "death," my black readers would still get it, but I wouldn't risk alienating my white readers with ebonics.

3:54 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home