Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Aniston: on the Front Lines Against Pee-Shyness

"I won't stop at anything. When it comes to my personal privacy and anyone else's personal privacy, I'll set the precedent. I don't care."
--Jennifer Aniston

Hi, Jennifer Aniston? Um...okay, well, I don't really like using urinals. Like, I can, and I know it's kind of gay to go into the stall, and it's not because I'm worried someone's going to sneak a peak at my junk or anything. I'm just pee-shy. It's this nervous thing, like I have to concentrate extra hard. You know how if you try to sleep next to someone else or in the same room as someone else if you're having a hard time falling asleep how if they are already asleep how it's soooo much harder to fall asleep? Like ten times harder! And then when you think about how tired you are and how you wish you could sleep it makes it even worse because you get all agitated with frustration so that it really feels like maybe you won't ever sleep again? That's what being pee-shy is like. Okay, so I guess I'm feeling like it's kind of a privacy issue, like if I had my own personal bathroom we wouldn't even be talking about this. So, like, could you do whatever it takes to set the precedent for my personal privacy, cuz like you sort of promised. Uh, yeah, this is Worker #3116, sorry, I guess I probably should have said that earlier.



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