Friday, December 02, 2005

Newsflash: Kurt Cobain Still Dead

Last night I seen Gus Van Sant's Last Days. I liked it, but I'm watching it and there's this scene where a friend of Blake (Kurt-Cobain-alike) is driving a private detective up to the house (based on the real live private detective, Tom Grant, who was hired during the last few days of Cobain's life to find the AWOL drug-addled star) and I'm like "wait a second, Ricky Jay?" Yes, Ricky Jay, the legendary illusionist and historian of all things magical.

Then later, Blake walks into town and ends up in this rock club and a kid comes up and starts talking to him, mostly being drowned out by the band (Ha ha, Gus, always with the visual-auditory pranks! How very Roman Polanski of you. Or perhaps it's more early-neo-realist-Antonioni, before he got into all that abstract Marxist shit about labor, I don't know!) and I'm like "wait a second, Harmony Korine?" Yes, Harmony Korine, the legendary dick slit behind Kids, Gummo, and Julien Donkey Boy.

So, pretending that this was a documentary about Kurt Cobain, I started to imagine a very different final chapter in his life in which he actually encountered Ricky Jay and Harmony Korine. Ricky Jay was all like, "Behold, as I pierce the skin of a watermelon with this normal playing card, and then make that same card disappear, only to make it reappear inside of JFK's casket in Arlington Cemetery, over 2,500 miles away!" And then later Cobain ran into Harmony Korine who was all like, "I want you to hit this crack pipe and blow the smoke into this black AIDS baby's ass and I'm going to film the whole thing from this hidden video camera disguised as my autistic deaf grandma's prosthetic hand." And Cobain was all like, "POW! SHOTGUN IN MY MOUF!"

Oh, and Gus, this is your third film in a row that features long tracking shots from behind of people walking.

1. Gerry
2. Elephant
3. Last Days

WE GET IT! Film is always trying to keep up with real life, but never quite makes it...and with film as a guide the viewer is stuck with an incomplete view of what truly makes a human being human, which, in fact, may be completely unknowable and outside the boundaries of art. But you know what else we get? BORED!

Also, my important research continues:

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/scientology
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/turducken
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/AIDS
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kurt_Cobain

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

<< Home