Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Please Sir, May I Have No More

Despite what you may have heard, Jesus was not killed on a stone table by the White Witch as orcs and minotaurs looked on. So I don't buy all this Aslan=Jesus bullshit.

Show me where there is Turkish Delight in the bible!

But I'll tell you something else that makes me very angry: after Aslan comes back to life he explains that if an innocent soul is willingly killed on the stone table blah blah blah, then not even death can keep him from being alive. Or something. So that means that he knew he was going to be resurrected? SOME SACRIFICE!

Also: fat people, why do you love The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, and the Boredrobe so much? Here is how fat the woman next to me at the movie was: she spent five minutes loudly futzing with the lid on her two-liter cup of soda so that she could EAT THE ICE.

God, I hated this movie so much. If this is really what Christianity is all about, I declare Jihad. LOTR will lay waste to the infidels.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I bet you are also now embarrassed by the fact that on this very same blog you stated that you liked that snl 'chronic whats ja narnia' song too.

that kind of blew up in your face now too! didn't it?

3:06 PM  

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