Friday, December 02, 2005

Pumping Iron Supplements

Yesterday was AIDS Day, but it was also Old Men Talk to Worker #3116 at the Gym Day.

First there was the old man in the plaid shirt tucked into his chest-high brown polyester pants with those giant drug-store pharmacy sunglasses on:

Worker #3116: Do you need to use this [incline sit-up bench]?
Old Man 1: Oh no! I am 90 years old, so I get more than I need from that [isolated pull ab machine] over there.
Worker #3116: I bet. But that's great!
Old Man 1: Yeah. Thank you.

[Worker #3116 continues his work-out. Two minutes later Old Man 1 returns.]

Old Man 1: Most of my friends have passed away, much less are still coming to the gym.
Worker #3116:'s amazing.

[Old Man 1 walks away, continuing to talk.]

Old Man 1: Yep. But what's the saying...I guess that's the way the cookie crumbles. What's the saying?

Yes, the way the cookie crumbles is that all your loved ones die and then it's AB-TIME TO THE MAX!

Then there was Old Man 2, who was a little bit more put together than Old Man 1 because he was only 89.

Old Man 2: How many push-ups do you do?
Worker #3116: 150.
Old Man 2: 1,000?
Worker #3116: No. 150.
Old Man 2: On my aircraft carrier, where I was stationed during The War, there was a fella who won the [some award known only to the people on his aircraft carrier during The War] for the most push-ups. He could do 500.
Worker #3116: Without stopping?
Old Man 2: Without stopping. Just pumping them out.
Worker #3116: Ech. That is too many push-ups.
Old Man 2: He must have eaten his Wheaties.

Wheaties is how the Nazis were defeated.


Anonymous Jason Jones said...

I like the part where you say "'s amazing."

9:53 AM  
Blogger Worker #3116 said...

I like the part after I say "'s amazing" when the old man agrees with me.

10:23 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You work out? Hmm...wouldn't have thought it.

1:35 PM  

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