Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Worker #3116's Top 2 Lists of 2005

Everyone is posting their Top 10 lists all over the internet. Well fuck that!

a) No one cares what you guys think.
b) 10? I don't need 10, I need two. If you give me a top two, I will listen. More than that and BORING.

Here is Worker #3116's Top 2 Lists of 2005

Top 2 Singles of 2005:

1. Black Eyed Peas - "Don't Phunk with My Heart"
2. Rob Thomas - "Lonely No More"

Top 2 Albums of 2005:

1. Black Eyed Peas - Monkey Business
2. Ashlee Simpson - I Am Me

Top 2 Movies of 2005:

1. National Treasure
2. The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants

Top 2 Books of 2005:

1. The O'Reilly Factor for Kids
2. Girls in Pants: The Third Summer of the Sisterhood

Top 2 TV Shows of 2005:

1. The O'Reilly Factor
2. Extreme Makeover: Home Edition

Top 2 Colors of 2005:

1. Forest Green
2. Light Green

Top 2 Insults of 2005:

1. You're a crap.
2. I hate that you're in my life.

What else do you want to know? I've got a Top 2 on every subject!


Blogger s. badazz said...


2:27 PM  
Blogger Worker #3116 said...

Rob Thomas DOMINATES 2005.


2:32 PM  
Blogger s. badazz said...

top 2 people who have ceasar cuts in the year 2005:

1. rob thomas
2. ugly blond guy from rw

2:50 PM  
Anonymous trevor said...

top two nicknames?

3:25 PM  
Blogger Worker #3116 said...

Well, one or two of them are unpublishable, but here are the "safe for public consumption" nicknames w/ etymology:

1. Nomi Malone (co-worker)
This one is pretty obvious if you've seen Showgirls, but basically one of my co-workers is exactly like Elizabeth Berkley in Showgirls, except where everything potentially sexy about Berkley is here more werewolfy. Like a major sociopathic hormonally-imbalanced freak-out Showgirls werewolf in a sleeveless silver shirt and work boots.

2. Hot Dogs (co-worker)
I don't even know this guy's real name, but he always wears velour blazers and talks really loudly. One time we overheard him in the cafeteria saying something to the effect of "BLAH BLAH BLAH HOT DOGS, AND I WAS RIGHT! IT WAS HOT DOGS THAT I SMELLED!

3:31 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

WE love hot dogs, sometimes - we'll eat them with ketchup, other times ketchup and mustard, We've even tried them with just ketchup, or plain. My husband loves chili on his hot dogs, too.

4:06 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Top 2 blogs (other than yours, of course.)

4:08 PM  
Blogger Worker #3116 said...


(Ed. Note: Dark Pony's three part series on what he wants to do with his life is the must-read three part series of 2005)

4:55 PM  
Blogger Buffy Elise Vanderbilt said...

top two reality tv shows?

11:24 PM  
Blogger Worker #3116 said...

1. Extreme Makeover: Home Edition
2.How Do I Look?

12:28 AM  
Anonymous Ali G said...

see, the issue with this top two rather than top ten? the admission that ASHLEE SIMPSON would be in your top two is wayyyyy more embarrassing. like, 5x more.

8:56 AM  
Blogger Worker #3116 said...

I hate that you're in my life.

9:36 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

top 2 foods of 2005, and top 2 quotes...

10:34 AM  
Blogger Worker #3116 said...

1. Pizza
2. Burrito

1. "Accio condoms!" -- Worker #3116
2. "Homie don't play that way?" -- Mom #3116

10:47 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Top 2 fashion accessories.
Top 2 things you'd told Luther Vandross before he passed.

1:37 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

sorry, top 2 things you wish you'd told Luther Vandross before he passed.

1:37 PM  
Blogger Worker #3116 said...

1. Trucker Hat
2. Sporty Wrist Bands

1. "When I say goodbye it is never for long/'Cause I know our love still lives on/It will be again exactly like it was/'Cause I believe in the power of love."
2. "Byeeeee."

2:03 PM  
Anonymous Clown Coffee said...

I'll field the Luther Vandross one, Worker:

1. Ooo, baby, you fuck so good!

2. I love you so much you fucker.

2:03 PM  
Anonymous Ali G said...

it's ok, ashlee will comfort you.

12:52 AM  

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